I grew up in a beautiful Slovak town surrounded by hills and mountains, where I stayed until I was 20. I knew a lot of people in my neighborhood, but I preferred to spend the majority of my time alone, lost in my own thoughts and dreams. Despite having some friends in my school class, I valued more my alone time and enjoyed the opportunity to let my imagination run wild.
Fast forward to today, and I’ve become a completely different person. After attending a Spanish high school, I made the decision to pursue college in Italy.
Though I had some knowledge of Italian thanks to my boyfriend, I quickly realized that conversational fluency was insufficient when I arrived in Bologna for admission tests. The academic level of the language proved much more difficult, and I eventually failed the entrance exam.
But I refused to let this setback deter me from pursuing my dreams. With determination and perseverance, I found another university with an easier entrance exam which I ultimately aced.
It’s incredible to reflect on my journey and see how I’ve progressed from a shy and introverted 10-year-old to a young woman pursuing her dreams in a foreign country in ways I never thought possible.
STAGE 1 — This is not going to be as simple as I had thought (2015–2019)
This is the main idea that I can use to describe my first years in Italy. My entire focus was on studying and passing the exams, while also working as a translator on fairs and at the local football stadium on the side. However, after a challenging but amazing first two years in Bologna during my final year of university, we decided to relocate to Milan because the city offered a wider range of employment opportunities.
Growing up in a tiny town, I always saw myself as a young woman settling into a big city’s historic apartment in another nation. I pictured myself leaving my apartment every morning to the city’s bustle and seeing people hurrying with their coffee to the metro to get to work.
This is exactly what happened, and after some time, my dream came true.
We were able to find a nice apartment in the historic district of the city. I began taking exams and working as a translator at various conferences and exhibitions.
STAGE 2 — This is not the kind of life I expected (2019–2020)
Over time in Milan, it became clear to me that while the city offered a multitude of opportunities and was conveniently located near the breathtaking Italian Alps, earning an average salary limited our ability to fully experience all that it had to offer.
I had always dreamt of working in the city center, to save myself hours of travel time every day. I thought that simply being in the city would make me feel more important, more accomplished, more successful.
During the time I was writing my thesis, I got the opportunity to work as a real estate assistant near the town square, which gave me a sense of accomplishment at first. I had everything I had imagined as a perfect life in a big European city just four metro stops from where I lived. However, as time passed, I couldn’t get away from the feeling that the work lacked profundity.
Many of the people in my immediate surroundings seemed to view going to work every day, even if it didn’t fulfill them, as a necessary and natural part of life. They recognized the importance of earning money and saving up for the future, such as for buying an apartment, and didn’t question the routine of it all.
As time went on, I realized that the reality was quite different from my expectations. Instead of feeling more confident and self-assured, I found myself feeling more anxious and unsure of myself than ever before.
STAGE 3 — Chasing Self-Esteem in the Big City: My Failed Attempt (2020–2021)
For years, I had been living a life that I thought was expected of me. I followed the typical path of studying hard, getting a job in a big city, and working my way up the corporate ladder. But deep down, I knew that this wasn’t the life I truly wanted.
I could understand the perspective of those around me who believed in the importance of gaining experience and building a successful career. However, I couldn’t relate to their idea of sacrificing my happiness and personal fulfillment for the sake of a higher salary or better job title.
I dreamed of a life with more freedom and a beautiful natural environment where I could spend my days however I wanted. During the pandemic, my boyfriend and I were given the opportunity to work remotely from our home. But as the restrictions lifted and we had to return to the old routine, I realized that I couldn’t go on living like this any longer.
So one day, I made a decision. I walked into the office and announced that I was leaving. My boyfriend and I left behind the security offered by life in Milan and began to travel.
STAGE 4 — I can’t find it “out there” if I don’t feel it within myself (2021-2022…)
I believed that a change of environment, greater freedom and exposure to new cultures would guarantee me an inner feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction. But as I traveled to the most beautiful places on this planet, met wonderful people, and had financial stability, I realized that my inner state remained unchanged.
It was a gradual realization, but one that fundamentally transformed my perspective on life. I came to understand that the primary source of my inner freedom and satisfaction was not my surroundings or external circumstances, but rather myself. Everything I needed to feel truly fulfilled and happy was already within me.
This journey taught me the importance of following my path, even if it deviated from the norm. I realized that true fulfillment comes primarily from within, and that everything else around me will simply blossom as a result of my perception.